The Best Gift to Yourself

“ Could you say it again? The sentence… could you say it again so I can write it down?” The voice sounds excited and hopeful over the phone.

“ How about I text it to you so you can easily access it each time you need it”, I respond.

“Great!”, she sighs with relief.

My friend’s voice was desperate when I picked up the phone earlier. “I fell into his trap. It was a trap so I would lose my mind in public and get kicked out of the place.” I urge her to take a deep breath. Most of us care about the image we give to the outside world. It is natural to want to look our best, calm and composed. Yet, we are only human. I remind her of that. I also encourage her to put things in perspective. “You have not been kicked out. No doubt your body did you a huge favor by blowing up. At least you have let the tension out.” I can hear her silently nodding over the phone. “Still, she adds. I hate it when I lose it.” How familiar the words sound. “I hate it”. How often do we hate ourselves for not doing the right thing, for not living up to the perfect image we set for ourselves? Our biggest challenge is learning not to dissociate from the parts of self we do not like. Acknowledging them. Even thanking them for they serve a purpose. “How about staying present for yourself? Tell yourself, right now, as you would to your best friend: “The entire Universe could turn its back on you, I am here for you.”

Silence follows. She is fully integrating it. “Wow”, she finally utters. “This is powerful. “

When will you next be here for yourself? When will you next assure yourself of your own presence? How about practicing right now… take a deep breath… bring to mind a time when you have given up on yourself, when you have rejected a part of self. Talk to that part of self like you would talk to your child or your best friend. And say “I am here for you.”